Bedtime routines are integral to any sleep journey to promote better sleep for children of all ages. Sleep, or bedtime routines are an evidence-based strategy that support children with calming their bodies, sending a clear signal that sleep is coming, and helps to strengthen your connection with them. However, sometimes, your child may prefer one parent to support them to sleep over another parent, or you may be needing another caregiver to step in to complete the bedtime routine so you can take a night off for yourself.
Parental preference can be exhausting and a bittersweet situation, leaving you wanting to support them but also feeling exhausted and touched out. Some families are not ready for another caregiver to be involved in their child’s sleep routine for many months (or years), and this is ok too! Little Sleep Space supports you at any stage of the journey you’re on.
All feelings are valid throughout this journey.
What you will learn in this blog:
- How to include another caregiver in your child’s bedtime routines
- Strategies for big kid bedtime routine
- Reminders of the journey
When preparing to have another caregiver involved in your child’s sleep routines, communication is key. By collaborating with the caregiver on a plan, it will help make the experience smooth for everyone and reduce confusion and hardships.
Observe Bedtime Routine
Before expecting a new caregiver to fully understand your child’s unique needs, it may be helpful to have them quietly observe your child’s routine as you complete it.
By allowinging the other caregiver to observe, they will learn each important step of your child’s routine, how you handle any silliness or protest, how your child prefers specific parts of their routine (like do they want their diaper changed standing up or laying down) and through observation, the other caregiver will learn your leadership style through bedtime, too. A bonus tip for this strategy is to write out your child’s bedtime routine in detail so that the caregiver has the option to refer back to each step and prevent a hiccup.
Participate in Bedtime Routine
After an observation has occurred, and maybe depending on the level of comfort you and your baby have with the new caregiver (e.g., familiar grandparent vs. new babysitter), you may invite the new caregiver to participate in some of the routine with you. For example, maybe the new caregiver offers Baby their bedtime bottle and then you finish the regular bedtime routine. Perhaps the new caregiver reads Baby their bedtime books and sings songs and you complete other parts.
By allowing the new caregiver to participate in some of the routine with you present, your baby will become more familiar with their involvement and presence during the bedtime routine.
Bedtime Routine
Have the new caregiver complete the bedtime routine while you’re home (ideally you’re in a different room/part of the house) so that Baby can find their comfort groove with the new caregiver and the caregiver can find confidence in their journey, too. You can be close by in the event extra support is needed.
Make a bedtime plan
When involving a new caregiver and taking the next step of leaving the house for an event or outing, make a clear action plan with the new caregiver on the ‘what-if’ situations.
- What if they don’t fall asleep?
- What if they wake up?
- What does extra support look like during these situations?
- What will be the reasons the caregiver will notify you when you’re out?
- How long will they attempt bedtime before hitting the pause button and doing a reset? What will happen during a reset?
By creating a clear action plan with the new caregiver, it sets everyone up for success for a smooth bedtime routine.
Tips for older children
Consider adding in some visuals to support older children when a new caregiver will be involved. A social story is a creative way to communicate the change to a young child and help them understand the new expectation and experience.
A visual calendar/schedule could also be used to communicate to a young child when the new caregiver will be present and when you will be back. If you haven’t already, check out my freebie visual schedule resource.
Using visuals helps communicate information to children and helps them understand and cope with the changes.
Practice makes progress
The first time a new caregiver is involved, things may not go smoothly. It’s normal for your child to notice the changes and communicate that in some way. It’s ok to feel frustrated by this experience and feel dread when it’s time to try again (and you should try again!). Practice makes progress for anything we want our children to get more comfortable and confident with. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
If caregiver support doesn’t happen often, bedtime may not go smoothly despite all these tips in place. For some children, the novelty of a new caregiver is a lot to process (especially at bedtime) and when it doesn’t happen often, it may not go as we hoped. It’s ok for bedtimes to look different on these nights, there is always opportunities to get back on track once regular routines and parental support is available again.
Wishing you a supported sleep journey (and maybe a night off bedtime routine ;))
Chelsea
Chelsea is Mom of 2 and a Certified Baby, Toddler and Child Sleep Consultant with advanced certification in Infant and Early Mental Health and Pediatric Sleep Health. She supports families within Hamilton and beyond with hands-on, no cry-it-out, responsive methods. She has a Master’s of Professional Education (specialization in Applied Behaviour Analysis) and over 10 years of professional experience supporting families in the community. Chelsea works collaboratively with families to empower them with the confidence and tools they need to reach their unique sleep goals. Hear from rested families here and book a free call with Chelsea here to discuss how she can support your family’s journey to more sleep.