Nap refusals are a sleep challenge many families face along their sleep journey – regardless of age and stage. Nap refusals are frustrating and exhausting for the parent on the receiving end of this challenge and usually happen at the most inconvenient time – like when you’re wanting to take a shower or take a rest yourself! If you’ve ever gotten stuck in a nap refusal situation and wondered why it’s happening or what to do next, this blog is for you!

What you’ll learn from this blog:

• Why are naps important to babies and children
• Why do babies refuse naps sometimes
• What to do when your baby refuses a nap
• Tips for a nap refusal pattern
• How to stay regulated when a nap refusal happens

Why are naps important for babies and children

Naps are crucial for a baby’s development. During sleep, a baby’s brain processes information and develops new skills. Adequate sleep also supports physical growth, emotional regulation, and overall health at every age and stage. For parents, naps can offer a much-needed break to recharge and take care of other responsibilities. You can read more about napping and the biological urges that are contributing to this on this blog about sleep pressure. 

Why do babies refuse naps sometimes

There are many reasons your baby may refuse a nap, and the reason may change based on the age/stage or even the day (if this sounds overwhelming, take a deep breath! We can figure this out together!) 

Your baby’s sleep will change frequently over the first two years of their life as a result of significant growth and development in such a short period of time! As a result of these changes, your baby’s sleep may temporarily get off track when a nap refusal happens. When your baby refuses a nap, they are trying to communicate something to you. It’s your job to understand what they are trying to tell you (easier said than done sometimes – I get it!) Understanding why your baby might refuse to nap is the first step in addressing the issue, so let’s talk about it.

Here are some common reasons why your baby may refuse to nap:

1. Timing: Because their sleep ‘schedule’ will be evolving frequently, especially in the first two years, sometimes a schedule tweak may be needed to help resolve the nap refusal situation. Your baby may be undertired (not enough sleep pressure) or overtired (too much sleep pressure) and both of these can result in your baby refusing a nap. Makes sense, if they aren’t ready to sleep they are going to let you know that! Timing may also include the signal that it’s time for a nap transition.
2. Developmental Milestones: Babies go through various developmental stages, and these can impact their sleep patterns. For example, learning to stand up, roll crawl or walk can be so exciting that it interferes with their willingness to nap. 
3. Separation Anxiety: Around six to eight months, babies may begin to experience separation anxiety, making them reluctant to be away from their parents, even for a nap. This is a normal part of child development and a phase that may require extra support  and calm leadership to guide them through this phase. Peek-a-boo is an excellent game to play during awake time to help with this challenging phase. 
4. Teething or Pain: The discomfort associated with teething can make it difficult for a baby to fall asleep at nap time (and bedtime, too!). This recent blog has some common teething questions answered by a local Mom and family dentist. If your baby has just started solids (maybe gassy or dealing with constipation) or is struggling with reflux or discomfort, they may also refuse a nap because these variables aren’t setting baby up for success – we can’t expect a baby to nap or nap well when they aren’t feeling their best. 
5. Environmental Factors: These may include noise (loud siblings, construction outside, etc.), light (too bright of a room?), temperature (too hot or too cold), and a novel sleeping environment can all contribute to nap refusal.

During some ages and stages, one or more of these variables may be in place at once and this can make for a really difficult time for everyone. Thankfully no stage lasts forever and you will get naps back on track again. 

What to do when baby refuses a nap

First off, take a deep breath. Being a parent to a young child is a lot of mental, emotional and physical work. Some days will be easier than others and each day will be an opportunity for learning and growth. Regardless of how  your baby falls asleep each day (e.g., rocked, fed, bounced, independent), they may still have a nap refusal situation and these steps can guide you through it. 

If your baby is refusing a nap, know it’s going to be ok and there are always solutions to a challenge. 

In the moment, here are your next steps:

1. Support them using whatever method feels right for your family’s sleep journey for a time that feels right for you and them (e.g., up to 30 minutes)
2. If they haven’t fallen asleep yet, take a reset. Calmly and confidently exit the room with your child. 
3. Choose a calming environment to have a break with them. Read some quiet books. Sing a few songs. Connect with your baby and reassure them that you’re hearing their message that they aren’t ready for a nap and you’re trying to help them through it. Take a break outside their room for 10-15 minutes.
4. Once the reset break is over, go back to a mini version of your nap routine (songs, book, etc.) to signal nap time is coming again. Attempt the nap again for up to 30 minutes. 
5. If it’s the last nap of the day, and they still haven’t slept, move on with the evening and adjust bedtime earlier to accommodate the skipped nap. 
6. If it’s not the last nap of the day, you may choose to keep going with another reset and nap attempt if that aligns with your preferences. Don’t worry about the rest of the day, you can adjust everything once your baby gets a nap in. Just because the skipped one nap doesn’t mean they will skip the next nap. One nap at a time is a good motto to have on hard days. 

What to do if you’re in a pattern of nap refusals 

First, play detective. Analyze what is happening for your baby and see if you can determine the root of the nap refusal. Once you have identified the potential reason(s) for your baby’s nap refusal, you can implement strategies to encourage a nap. Patience with this process… if nap refusals have been a longstanding challenge, your baby will need time to adjust to new expectations. 

1. Timing and schedules: monitor your baby’s schedule and timing to determine if it’s time to make a change. Have they slept too much in other naps that day which is making their sleep drive too low for another nap? Are they ready for a wake window stretch? Is it time for a nap transition? If you’ve decided a schedule revision is needed, add/reduce your baby’s awake time by a short amount (e.g., 15-30 minutes) and give it a few days before making another change. 
2. Optimize the sleep environment: Ensure that your baby’s sleep environment is conducive to napping. This includes a dark, quiet room with a comfortable temperature. Using a noise machines can help eliminate background noise. More tips on optimal sleep environments can be found on this blog and information on sound machines can be found here. 
3. Offer comfort and support: If separation anxiety is the issue, offer your baby comfort by staying close for a few extra minutes. For some families, this may mean you’re staying in the room until they’re asleep then fading yourself out. For others, it may mean connecting for a few extra minutes to reassure them you’ll be back. The most important part is to stay consistent so your baby learns predictable patterns from you which increases their trust and comfort in the situation.  If they are uncomfortable or in pain, provide them support and comfort to reduce these stressors for them. 

How to stay regulated when a nap refusal happens

Dealing with a baby who refuses to nap can be incredibly draining. It’s important to take care of yourself so that you can be a calm confident leader through the hiccups that come with baby sleep. Here are some quick tips to support you on the journey:

1. Ask for help: Don’t hesitate to ask for help from family members or friends. It’s ok to need a break! Get your partner involved in nap routines whenever possible to split the load. If help isn’t readily available, a postpartum doula is a resource available in many communities to support your family. 
2. Connect with other parents: Joining a parent group can provide you with emotional support and practical advice from others who are going through similar experiences. There is power in community! 
3. Focus on your basic needs: Keep a water bottle and quick energy dense snacks (e.g., granola bar, mixed nuts) in baby’s sleep space for when you need a pick-me-up during a nap refusal situation. 
4. Practice mindfulness: Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or reciting mantras can be helpful to regulate your nervous system during hard moments. Headphones and a podcast can be helpful when trying to support your baby through a hard moment and stay regulated, too!

Next steps for your sleep journey

While many nap refusal challenges can be managed with patience and consistency, there are times when an objective perspective can be helpful to analyze your baby’s sleep and offer individualized strategies and an action plan to follow. 

If you’re ready for better naps and less stress about baby sleep, I’d love to guide you there. Let’s connect and get your family’s sleep journey started. 

Chelsea is Mom of 2 and a Certified Baby, Toddler and Child Sleep Consultant with advanced certification in Infant and Early Mental Health and Pediatric Sleep Health. She supports families within Hamilton and beyond with hands-on, no cry-it-out, responsive methods. She has a Master’s of Professional Education (specialization in Applied Behaviour Analysis) and over 10 years of professional experience supporting families in the community. Chelsea works collaboratively with families to empower them with the confidence and tools they need to reach their unique sleep goals. Hear from rested families here and book a free call with Chelsea here to discuss how she can support your family’s journey to more sleep.